Zoflora Kitchen Wipes

Shit you’ll need:

  • One roll of Regina Blitz.
  • A lidded plastic tub.
  • Tap water.
  • Yer chosen Zoflora scent.
  • Scissors.

I thought I’d share this alternative to making wipes – this is not to say it’s better, it’s simply another method. If you’re wondering what the alternative IS, well basically folks have been adding Zoflora to cheap baby wipes which I’ve not tried personally, because this write up is how I’ve been doing it.

Regina Blitz is massssiiiive sheet wise. I love the stuff and use it to make these wipes and also face wipes. Make a pile of RB, cutting each piece in half and stacking it in your plastic tub. Add ONE CAPFUL of Zoflora to roughly half a pint of water. Add it slowly so the wipes are at optimum saturation – you might use a bit less or a bit more depending on how big your pile is. RB is perfect for this because it’s very very strong, and the pieces are much larger than typical kitchen paper.

If you use a full roll of RB, you will get an absolute shitload of wipes because it will go really far. Keep the lid on your tub to make sure they don’t dry out obviously.

That’s yer lot. You can use this method to create any type of wipe – face or baby wipes using appropriate ingredients, multi surface cleaner wipes etc. A splash of neat Flash in the water instead of Zoflora works. DO NOT MIX THEM. You don’t want to accidentally melt your lungs out creating chemical fumes. Yes folks will say that they have been doing it for a while with no issue – but the fact is that chemical toxicity can build over time, and before you know it, you’re wheezing like a forty-year-chain-smoker after attempting to run to the offy before closing time for a packet of cigs.

Kitchen Experiments: Face Wipes 🌱

I have a few of these home made personal products up my sleeve, so I’m putting them here because they’re not going to find their way to anyone sitting in the journal I have hidden in my kitchen.

You can pretty much buy dirt cheap face wipes these days since supermarkets realised that we can make them for much less than they can sling them, but they can be a bit crap and dry up easily, and be shit to folks with really sensitive skin (like me for example).

When it comes to making wipes of any kind, I use Regina Blitz, mainly because the pieces are MASSIVE, and so you can cut them in half and they won’t be tiny. Whenever I see a vendor describing a packet of wipes as large, I often think “in what fucking universe is that even CLOSE to large!?”


Shit you will need:

  • Strong kitchen roll – it doesn’t have to be the stuff I use, just make sure it’s a decent strong roll that doesn’t fall to bits when wet.
  • A rectangular tub with a lid.
  • Half a pint of water, warm but not boiled.
  • One tablespoon of baby lotion, or baby oil.
  • One tablespoon of baby wash, or baby shampoo.
  • I use about half a roll of Regina Blitz whenever I am making wipes. Make a pile of them, and cut each piece in half. Dump the pieces into your plastic tub, it doesn’t matter if the pile looks too big, when you pour the solution on them it will shrink down.
  • Before you add it to the water, combine the baby lotion/oil with the baby wash/shampoo. You can use other lotions and oils, it’s just if you’re using these to remove eye makeup, anything other than baby products is going to make you wish you don’t want your eyes anymore.
  • Pour the water into that combination, stir well and pour over the pile of kitchen roll in your tub. Depending on the absorbency of your chosen paper, you may need to adjust the amount of water you use, but if they’re waterlogged you know you went too far, you utter muppet. The warmth of the water will help the ingredients melt nicely.


  • Only make enough for a week as they don’t contain preservatives obviously.
  • DO NOT FLUSH THEM DOWN THE LOO YOU ABSOLUTE TURNIP SHEPHERD. Do you not remember the great London fatberg that lurked in the sewers and threatened humanity as we know it?
  • You can substitute baby oil or lotion for things like olive oil or aloe vera gel if you prefer it. Don’t use coconut oil however, as it will set things badly and nobody wants that. Be aware that if you add anything that might irritate your eyes, not to use the wipes to remove eye-makeup.
  • You can store them inside a resealable plastic bag if you want to take them with you anywhere.
  • You can experiment with essential oil combinations – mint and tea tree oils make refreshing face wipes for oily skin, but you HAVE TO BE CAREFUL. I would only ever use five drops of each of those oils maximum because you really don’t want skin burns. Once you add oils, the wipes have to be kept away from your eyes.
  • If you stick to baby products, that means you’ve essentially got baby wipes for your little ones too.
  • Avid recycling folks could replace the kitchen roll with muslin squares. This would make the wipes reusable as all you would have to do is wash them after. In fact any soft cotton material would work just as well if you want to produce less waste.

Here’s to clean faces and not feeling like a filthy bugger. 😎