Minestrone Soup 🥕🥦🌽🥒🍅 🥣

The thing about minestrone is, there is no exact recipe aside from to use whatever vegetables you have to hand, some beans, and either rice or pasta. It’s a mishmash of what you have to play with in your kitchen.

I demolished this earlier.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some veg. I used two cups of frozen chopped mixed veg.
  • Beans. I used a can of baked beans but you can use whatever bean variant you wish.
  • Two cups of pasta or rice.
  • 1ltr vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 2tblspns of tomato purée.
  • 2tblspns of olive oil.

This is another dump-the-whole-lot-in-your-slow-cooker-and-switch-on-auto-for-a-couple-of-hours, affair. When it’s finished, you’ll have a bloody good hearty soup that’s very filling. You can serve it with bread if you like, but the pasta or rice content makes it way more substantial than normal soup.

Cream of Tomato & Basil Soup 🍅 🥣

I found an unexpected jar of passata in my cupboard! I thought I had run out, but obviously not so HERE WE GO.

NONE OF THAT NEON ORANGE BULLSHIT.

Shit you’ll need:

  • One jar/carton of passata, 680g (approx), or the equivalent in tinned chopped tomatoes whizzed up to fuck in a blender.
  • 75g basil purée or the equivalent in dried/fresh. You can also use basil pesto here. Half a 190g jar should do it.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 170g water.
  • 2tblspns of olive oil.
  • 200ml coconut milk, or your desired equivalent.
Doing its thing in me slow cooker..

Pour the passata into your slow cooker, and add all the ingredients except the coconut milk, or it’s equivalent. Stir well, and set it to auto for a couple of hours. Stir it every so often and when your kitchen smells fucking fantastic, stir the coconut milk through the soup, and serve immediately. Last time I made this, I’d made some croutons to go with it. NOM NOM FUCKING NOM.

Peanut Soup 🥜🥣

This also doubles as a sauce, and reminds me heavily of satay sauce in that medium.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 1 cup of peanut butter.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1dstspn flaked chilli.
  • 1tsp powdered ginger.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • 1dstspn of honey.
  • 1 cup of polenta.
  • 1/2 a cup of tomato purée.
  • A chopped onion.
  • A can of coconut milk 400ML.

You don’t need to add extra oil as your peanut butter will have enough in it already. Turn your slow cooker up to high, and combine the peanut butter with tomato purée in the bottom of your slow cooker until it heats up and starts to melt together. Add the honey and do the same thing. Pour the stock in, and stir slowly. There might be lumps that float around initially, but they will melt. Add the chopped onion, seasoning and spices, and turn the slow cooker down to auto for an hour.

After an hour, add the cup of polenta, and keep stirring it until the soup thickens up. Polenta is bloody brilliant for thickening up soups, and it’s versatile as fuck for other stiff. When that has melted in, pour on the coconut milk, and let the soup sit on low for another hour.

Enjoy as soup, or use it as a sauce for skewer foods, to pour over rice, or a sauce in a wok/skillet/variation thereof with chicken or a veggiesaurus equivalent.

Bread & Tomato Soup 🍅 🥣

This one is for when you have some bread that’s a little stale, but not growing penicillin. We draw the line at green furry science experiments here. This is a very rustic, simple recipe.

Image forthcoming

Shit you’ll need:

    Passata or tinned chopped tomatoes – I prefer passata because fuck no to lumpy tomatoes! Mine was a 680g bottle of Ocado passata.
    2tblspns of olive oil.
    1tsp garlic powder or equivalent.
    A chopped onion.
    1tsp salt.
    1dstspn cracked black pepper.
    1dstspn of dried basil or equivalent in fresh/puréed.
    500g bread – or thereabouts. It can be sliced or otherwise.
    200ML hot water.
    1 vegetable stock cube.
    OPTIONAL: Mozzarella.

Pull the bread into bits, it doesn’t need to be neat and tidy as it will be mashed to buggery in yer gob later mate. Put the bread to one side, and add allllllll the other ingredients to your slow cooker. Heat this mixture up on high for about thirty minutes.

After it’s warmed up, add your bread chunks and allow the soup to cook through for an hour on auto. After that hour, mix the soup up so the bread breaks apart and gives the soup a thicker texture. Let it bubble on low for half an hour and then you can do one of two things; serve as it is with olive bread, or take the basin out of the slow cooker, and put it in your oven with some mozzarella on top and allow it to melt. You could use a fork to dip your olive bread into it, and let it get all caught up in that cheese.

Be careful through, this soup gets hot like lava, and you might burn yer gob.

Beetroot & Tomato 🍅 Soup 🥣

I will say right off the bat that I’m not a huge fan of beetroot, but I’m trying to make different things, and experiment. This creates a glossy and zingy soup that you don’t want to spill on anything white.

Initial shoving stuff in the slow cooker stage.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Passata (mine was a 680g bottle from Ocado).
  • 250ML boiling water.
  • 175g of sliced beetroot.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1dstspn cracked black pepper.
  • 1tblspn Worcester sauce.
  • 1tsp flaked chilli.
  • 1tblspn olive oil.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1tsp cayenne pepper.
  • 1tsp paprika.
  • 1tsp garlic powder or equivalent.
  • A can of coconut milk, 400g.

I’m not keen on lumps in my cooked tomato, hence why I use passata. Lumpy warm tomato is fucking horrid . 🤮

There is enough fluid in the passata to reduce the amount of water you need for this soup. Add all the ingredients to the slow cooker, aside from the coconut milk. After you’ve made sure everything has melted, turn it to auto for an hour.

After an hour, add the coconut milk and leave on low for another hour. The soup will turn a beautiful incarnadine colour that you DEFINITELY don’t want to get on yer best light clothes. I realise I mentioned that already further up. Tough shit. You can’t say you weren’t warned. 😛

GLOSSY VELVET INCARNADINE.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to eat this one with yet.