Mushroom Coriander & Lime Soup 🍄 🌿 🥣

You can use fresh or bottled ingredients for this, you work with what you’ve got. You can also substitute lime for lemon if you’d like.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 300g chopped mushrooms or equivalent in canned or frozen.
  • 2tblspns lime or lemon juice. You can also include the zest if you’re using fresh fruit.
  • 2tsp dried coriander, or equivalent.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp powdered garlic.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 2tsps cracked black pepper.
  • 2tblspns olive oil.
  • 1tblspn of Worcester sauce.

You can either either enjoy this soup blended or chunky. Everything can go in all at once into your slow cooker for around ninety minutes on auto. It also works well served over rice if you choose not to whizz the fuck out of it, or enjoyed from a large mug if you do.

If you want a creamier soup, add a can of coconut milk, or your desired equivalent.

Potato & Cheddar Cheese Soup 🥔 🧀 🥣

This is pure comfort food, cheese and carbs.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some spuds, or instant mash flakes. Use two large potatoes per person. I leave the skins on.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 750ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • 1tsp English mustard.
  • 1.5 cups of medium to mature cheddar cheese.
  • 2tblspns of olive oil.
  • Optional: mixed herbs.

If you’re using instant mash this will take less time. If you’re using raw potatoes, you’ll need to cut them into small chunks, and shove them in your slow cooker with the stock first of all. I don’t feel you need to add salt to this recipe because the cheese will have plenty of salt in, as will the vegetable stock.

If you’re working with raw potatoes, add everything but the cheese and cook on auto for as long as they need to soften. If you want to keep the soup chunky, just add the cheese and allow to melt for a further half an hour. If you want a smoother soup, whizz the fuck out of the soup in a food processor before returning it to your slow cooker and adding the cheese.

If you choose to add herbs, add them with the vegetable stock, or you can sprinkle them on top of the soup when you serve it.

Minestrone Soup 🥕🥦🌽🥒🍅 🥣

The thing about minestrone is, there is no exact recipe aside from to use whatever vegetables you have to hand, some beans, and either rice or pasta. It’s a mishmash of what you have to play with in your kitchen.

I demolished this earlier.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some veg. I used two cups of frozen chopped mixed veg.
  • Beans. I used a can of baked beans but you can use whatever bean variant you wish.
  • Two cups of pasta or rice.
  • 1ltr vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 2tblspns of tomato purée.
  • 2tblspns of olive oil.

This is another dump-the-whole-lot-in-your-slow-cooker-and-switch-on-auto-for-a-couple-of-hours, affair. When it’s finished, you’ll have a bloody good hearty soup that’s very filling. You can serve it with bread if you like, but the pasta or rice content makes it way more substantial than normal soup.

Red Lentil & Potato Soup 🥣 🥔

I finally got me paws on more red lentils! I’m using up the last of me fresh spuds, although it’s totally fine to make this with spuds in any medium be they canned, flaked, frozen, whatever.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some spuds. I used five medium sized ones, unpeeled.
  • An onion, chopped. Cheat and use frozen chopped ones like I do.
  • A cup of red lentils.
  • 750ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 2tblspns of olive oil.
  • A can of coconut milk, 400ML.

If you pre soak your lentils the night before, it will save time, but it’s not essential as you can just add time to the slow cooker.

Chop your spuds into small pieces, unpeeled. Add them to the slow cooker, and pour over the vegetable stock. Add everything but the coconut milk to the pot, stirring until things have melted. Cook on auto for two hours until the lentils have softened, and your spuds have gone soft.

You can either add the coconut milk for a creamier texture at this point and leave it unblended, OR you can shove it all in your food processor and blend until it’s smooth.

Scoff the bloody lot with some bread, and collapse into a food coma at your earliest convenience.

Simple Vegetable Soup 🥕🥦🌽🥬🥣

SooooOooOooOoOooo easy to make if you use pre chopped frozen or canned veg. It’s just as good as fresh, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 500g frozen or canned mixed veg.
  • A chopped onion – I often cheat and use frozen chopped ones.
  • 500ML hot water.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 2tblspns olive oil.

Chuck the lot in your slow cooker for two hours on auto. You can either eat this as a broth with the vegetables in solid format, orrrrr you can whizz its arse off in a food processor to make it a smooth soup. It will be lovely and tasty with whatever you want, bread, rice, or straight from a huge mug to warm your hands.

You can of course use fresh veg, but I wanted to keep this as simple as possible. I am not one of those fresh vs frozen snobs that happen to get right on my tits.

Parsnip Soup 🥣

I fucking love roasted parsnips. This means I am using leftover ones to create this wonderful concoction. I have never made parsnip soup without first roasting them, so I erm….ROAST THEM FIRST! Or not, it’s up to you, it’s just I think they will taste nicer.

Previously well roasted parsnips.. 🤤

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some parsnips, obviously. I used a bag of Waitrose a little less than perfect brand, £1 for a 1kg. I love their a little less than perfect range, you can lots of fresh veg for waaaay less. I’m getting less and less able to chop stuff though 😦
  • Olive oil or butter.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp powdered garlic or equivalent.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp ginger.
  • 1tsp flaked chilli.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 400ML of coconut milk.

Chop up your leftover roast parsnips into small pieces, and dump them in yer slow cooker. Add the rest of the ingredients except the coconut milk, and let them simmer their arses off in your slow cooker for a couple of hours on auto. Your kitchen will smell fucking amazing for the duration.

After those couple of hours have passed, pour the contents into a food processor, and whizz the fuck out of it whilst slowly adding the coconut milk. Serve with crusty bread, or just do what I did and drink it straight from a bowl like some manner of heathen. 😎

Peanut Soup 🥜🥣

This also doubles as a sauce, and reminds me heavily of satay sauce in that medium.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 1 cup of peanut butter.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1dstspn flaked chilli.
  • 1tsp powdered ginger.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • 1dstspn of honey.
  • 1 cup of polenta.
  • 1/2 a cup of tomato purée.
  • A chopped onion.
  • A can of coconut milk 400ML.

You don’t need to add extra oil as your peanut butter will have enough in it already. Turn your slow cooker up to high, and combine the peanut butter with tomato purée in the bottom of your slow cooker until it heats up and starts to melt together. Add the honey and do the same thing. Pour the stock in, and stir slowly. There might be lumps that float around initially, but they will melt. Add the chopped onion, seasoning and spices, and turn the slow cooker down to auto for an hour.

After an hour, add the cup of polenta, and keep stirring it until the soup thickens up. Polenta is bloody brilliant for thickening up soups, and it’s versatile as fuck for other stuff. When that has melted in, pour on the coconut milk, and let the soup sit on low for another hour.

Enjoy as soup, or use it as a sauce for skewer foods, to pour over rice, or a sauce in a wok/skillet/variation thereof with chicken or a veggiesaurus equivalent.

Cream of Potato & Garlic Soup 🥔 🥣

I love this soup. It’s buttery, filling and garlic-y, and the kind of soup you eat with home baked bread rolls loaded with butter.

BUTTERY GLORY

Shit you’ll need:

  • Potatoes, obviously. I used five large ones and I DIDN’T PEEL THEM. Give them a good scrub first though. You can also forgo any peeling or boiling and use instant mash for this.
  • 60g butter, with extra for those who want MOAR.
  • 4 cloves of garlic or powder/purée equivalent.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 150ML cream or equivalent.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • A chopped onion.

Chop and fry your onion along with the garlic, salt, pepper, and butter. Whilst you’re faffing about with that, chop your potatoes to size and boil until they’re softened. If you’re using instant mash, you don’t need to do that part.

When the spuds are soft, transfer them to your slow cooker, with the vegetable stock and the contents of the frying pan. Mash them together, and let them do their thing on auto setting for an hour. If you want to add more butter because you don’t value your arteries, then go ahead, it depends on your tastes of course.

After the hour is done, use a hand blender to make it super smooth if it hasn’t done that itself already. Add the cream, and stir the fuck out of it. Serve with warm crusty bread and butter.

Don’t plan on moving after, this will put you into a food coma if you eat a lot with bread.

Apple & Jalapeño Broth 🍎 🌶

I have an abundance of apples at the moment, and a jar of jalapeños. I also have a horrible plague growing inside me, so this is going to be my MAGIC FUCKING POTION.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some apples. They’re kind of important. I used four.
  • Chopped jalapeños – admittedly mine came in a glass jar pre chopped. I used about a quarter of a jar which is roughly 106g. If you don’t have any you can use dried flaked chillis instead, or some Tabasco sauce.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 2tblspns olive oil.

This is designed to bite you in the arse. If you are an absolute masochist, add hotter peppers, but I won’t be doing that because I value my tastebuds.

NO PEELING THE APPLES, unless they’re cooking apples and then you should. Mine aren’t though so I didn’t. Chop them into chunks, and then dump them in your slow cooker along with everything else for a couple of hours on auto.

You sip this from a large mug or bowl. Don’t forget to wash your hands after handling the jalapeños, because if you rub your eyes or any other delicate parts, you’re going to feel like a twat when it smarts a bit.

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Curried Banana Soup 🍌 🥣

Not gonna lie. I’ve never made banana soup before. I’ve put banana in vegetable curries before, along with mango and courgette, and it’s worked really well, but not just soup. So here we fucking go..

It doesn’t look like much, BUT BY GODS IT IS FANTASTIC.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some ripe bananas. I mean this shit isn’t going to work without them. I used four of the buggers.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 400ML can of coconut milk.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • 1tsp garam masala.
  • 1tsp turmeric.
  • 2tblspns olive oil.
  • 2tblspns of lemon or lime juice.

You will also need a blender/hand blender/food processor-y whizzy thing. Yes that’s a technical term. Don’t argue.

This is also a bit fiddlier than other sooooooops. You will need to pre fry your onions in the olive oil and seasoning, spices, and your lemon or lime juice. When they have softened and caramelised, peel and chop your bananas. OBVIOUSLY you need to peel them first because well you’re going to look a bit daft if you don’t. Add the chopped bananas to the mix in the frying pan, and let the spices absorb and soften them a little.

Transfer the frying pan contents into your slow cooker, and pour the stock on top. Turn it up to high, and let it heat through until it starts to bubble. Once that happens, shove the contents into your whizzy thing with the coconut milk, and blend until smooth. You can then return it to the slow cooker, and allow it to heat on low until you’re ready for it. This will produce a thick satisfying soup.

Serve with a handful of flaked almonds on top, which are totally optional, duh.