BOOOOOOOZE

I made fruit infused vodka and now I am a bit trollied. 🥴

BERRIES

There are tons of tutorials online for this stuff, after reading a few and deciding what to use, this is what I went with:

  • 500ml vodka.
  • 250g frozen forest fruits.
  • 130g granulated sugar.

You’ll also need a jar or canister that carries about a litre of liquid. Make sure you sterilise it first otherwise nasties will form.

If you were using fresh fruit, you’d need to prick the berries first, but frozen ones don’t need that. Shove them in your canister or jar, and add the sugar. Mash them together thoroughly, and pour your vodka on top. Add your lid or seal the canister, and shake the ever living fuck out of it. The sugar will settle at the bottom initially.

Store in a dark cupboard for seven days, shaking it every day to help the sugar dissolve. After seven days, strain it, and pour into sterilised bottles or jars. Discard the fruit entirely.

Bottled booze in a cluttered corner.

It will blow your head off.

Thirty Days of Soup

I am in the midst of editing my soup recipes and collating them into a pdf, along with two other formats for accessibility. Today I sorted the cover out:

I know it’s not overly exciting, but I’m rather pleased.

Omelette Cheat 🥚 🍳

If like me, you are utterly shite at making an omelette in a skillet/frying pan/wok/variation thereof, my method is as follows:

Fluffy omeletty goodness.

Get a non stick circular cake tin, greasing it well. Heat the tin in your oven for a good five minutes until it’s hot. Pour your usual omelette mix into it, and let it bake for about ten to fifteen minutes. You’ll be able to turn it out onto your plate fairly easily. It will rise, and when you take it out of the oven, it should sink nicely to look similar to the one in my photo. It’s a good way to make multiple omelettes if you have more than one person to cook for.

My usual omelette combo is four eggs, salt, pepper, a lump of butter, and a sprinkling of cheese. Serve with whatever you’d like.

Fat Cakes for Birds! 🐦

Apparently I decided 03:00AM was the time to do this. It’s getting colder and colder, and you can help feed wildlife by making fat cakes for them to chomp on.

FAAAAAAAAAAAT

Shit you’ll need:

  • Lard or coconut oil, melted.
  • 1cup of Polenta.
  • 1cup of cooked pasta, sliced up into small pieces.
  • 1cup of mixed seeds.

You can also add peanut butter, preferably smooth, currants, sultanas, uncooked oats, and cheese. Melt your fat source down, and add the rest of your ingredients. I don’t actually have anything ball shaped I can use for this right now, so I’ve put it in tubs to set, and I’ll cut it into cubes to put outside.

I know they don’t look fantastic, but the birds will luuuurve you.

Don’t use any animal fat for this, especially not turkey fat. It coats feathers in the wrong way and stops tweeters from flying, as well as spreading disease. Lard or coconut oil are absolutely your best options.

You can leave them to set in a cool place like your fridge, or in my case my kitchen windowsill because it’s cold on there.

Apricot & Stilton Biscuits

My brain is a very weird place. I dream very vividly, always have. During one of my more bizarre headfuck dreams last night, I apparently found the desire to bake apricot and Stilton biscuits. The British kind, not the odd American kind that seem to be scones under another name. This was a total guess experiment, and I love combining sweet with savoury so here’s what happened.

There were six, but I ate one so then there were five.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 1cup plain flour.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • Half tsp bicarbonate of soda or baking powder.
  • 1 large egg or equivalent in egg replacer (I used egg replacer).
  • 3/4cup of oil – I used 50/50 olive oil and vegetable oil.
  • One massive dollop of apricot jam about 2tblspns.
  • 100g Stilton cheese, crumbled.

Combine all your dry ingredients, making sure they’re properly mingled otherwise everything will be upset. We simply cannot have improperly mingled dry ingredients. Drizzle your oil in a bit at a time until the mixture starts to stick and go a bit breadcrumb-y. If you’re using an egg and not egg replacer, add it now.

Dump your dollop of apricot jam into the mix, and crumbled Stilton. I used to fork to mash it all together until it turned into a stiff (childish laughter) dough.

Six on me well used baking tray.

Scoop and press lumps of dough into a lined baking tray, making sure you use a bit of oil to grease. Bake for fifteen to eighteen minutes until golden brown, in the centre of an oven on a medium heat. Mine were ready in fifteen because I have one of those fan assisted contraptions.

They’re great for just shoving in yer gob, or eating with soup or stew instead of bread. This will yield twelve, but I only have a small baking tray so I had to bake them in two batches.

Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies 🍪

This is not my recipe, it’s one I’ve slightly altered for my own tastes. The original recipe is HERE.

I used egg replacer, and substituted the packed brown sugar for muscovado sugar, and the standard sugar for icing sugar. If you want a dairy free option, try using coconut oil or vegetable oil in place of the butter, either will work. Using a high cocoa content dark chocolate will be fine to keep any milk out of the process. I’ve said before that I keep egg replacer in my cupboards because it’s very economical to do so for the price.

It was so bloody hard NOT to just scoff allllll the dough.

The first six.

My kitchen smelled fucking amazing with these baking. The last photo is a pile of eleven, because obviously I had to scoff a warm cookie when they were ready, duh.

Soooooo chewy.