Mixed berry oat grumble

Yes GRUMBLE, because I have had a banging headache for the last two days.

I follow Jack Monroe because frankly, they are a bloody legend. My effort here is directly inspired by their recent crumble recipe, although I’m not vegan (sorry Jack!) and I switched it up a little bit because I had bloody tons of oats, and I really bloody love the aforementioned oats.

Frozen berries, obviously.

I bought the berries frozen because they were on offer on a two for reduced price deal, that my addled fucking brain has completely forgotten. I sprinkled them with sugar, and let them sit overnight until they had defrosted and were sitting in their juices.

My topping went like this:

  • Four cups of dry oats.
  • 250g butter.
  • 3tblsp set honey.
  • 3tblsp peanut butter.

All you need to do, is melt the butter, honey, and peanut butter in a pan large enough to mix the oats into. When everything is melted and combined, tip the oats in and make sure they’re all saturated.

Press down on top of the berry mixture, and bake in the oven for half an hour, on a medium heat. I have also forgotten what temperature I set my oven to, because fibromyalgia is kicking my arse, and I’ve had a crushing headache for the last two days. I am appallingly useless at times.

Do you have ANY idea how hard it was not to shove the topping into my mouth along the way?

Serve with ice-cream, custard, cream, or whatever you’d like, even if you’re really weird and you want ketchup on it.

This is SO fucking yummy.

Indulgent as fuck cream of mushroom soup 🥣 🍄

Not gonna lie. This is not good for if you’re on a diet, or you don’t like dairy filled soups. It’s the kind of soup you serve as a starter before a fancy dinner, but only in small amounts so nobody has mushroom soup coma before the main course, unless you’re eating it AS a main course with a mountain of bread, like I do.

BEHOLD.

Apologies for the size of the photo, instawank was being awkward on my personal account, and I couldn’t share it to my kitchenfuckery account without resorting to a simple screenshot. Fucking technology.

Pre heat yer oven to 180°C/350°F/Gas Mark 4.

Ingredients:

  • One 300g punnet of button mushrooms.
  • Four large flat mushrooms.
  • 250g butter.
  • 250ml of vegetable stock – cubes or bullion work fine, made with boiling water.
  • 1tbsp of garlic purée or equivalent.
  • A bunch of scallions – seven shoots in my last bunch which is perfect.
  • 1dstspn cracked black pepper, or more if you are some kind of pepper fetishist.
  • 1dstspn salt, or to your taste requirements.
  • 1ltr semi skimmed milk.
  • 600g cream.
  • 1tsp (heaped) of corn flour.
  • Half a 75g tube of Just Add Basil purée, or you know, 37.5g like a normal person would say. 🙄

Grab your frying pan/wok/variation thereof, and add to it the butter, salt, pepper, garlic, basil, and heat gently. Chop and add the scallions, doing the same with the button mushrooms. Allow to fry and be saturated with the glorious buttery goodness.

Chop your large flat mushrooms into chunks, the point of adding these is so you have some decent body to your soup. Chuck them in the pan as well, and let everything mingle and smell good, whilst trying to resist eating everything. That bit might be really hard, especially if you’re me.

Grab a large pan preferably with a lid, large enough to hold the volume of liquid outlined, or you will make a dreadful fucking mess. Transfer the contents of your frying pan to it, and add your litre of milk, and 250ml vegetable stock. Stir thoroughly until things are starting to get along with one another nicely. Do not let this boil, you’ll balls it up.

Dissolve your heaped teaspoon of cornflour into a small cup of cold water, and add to the pan, continuing to stir so you don’t get huge glomps of floury horror-shite in the pan. Dump in the entire carton of cream, still stirring like some kind of mad person. When the soup starts to thicken, take off the heat and transfer into the oven with your pan lid on (make sure there are no plastic bits on it folks), and allow to heat through for an hour. This means you’re not standing for ages in front of your hob, going silently mad with endless stirring.

Obviously after that hour is up, remove from the oven and serve as you desire. This is a large volume recipe, so reduce as appropriate, or make enough to stock up your freezer.

This will also work very well in a slow cooker. Fry the mushrooms etc in the same way as you would at the beginning of this recipe, and then simply dump that and the rest of the ingredients in the slow cooker, and let it do its thing. Remember to stir it every so often so it doesn’t get bored.

I’m sure there is a healthier version of this out there, it’s just I kind of like this one and so I’m sticking to it. Feel free to run with it and make it healthier, but I’m not going to eat it. 😛