Beetroot & Tomato 🍅 Soup 🥣

I will say right off the bat that I’m not a huge fan of beetroot, but I’m trying to make different things, and experiment. This creates a glossy and zingy soup that you don’t want to spill on anything white.

Initial shoving stuff in the slow cooker stage.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Passata (mine was a 680g bottle from Ocado).
  • 250ML boiling water.
  • 175g of sliced beetroot.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1dstspn cracked black pepper.
  • 1tblspn Worcester sauce.
  • 1tsp flaked chilli.
  • 1tblspn olive oil.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1tsp cayenne pepper.
  • 1tsp paprika.
  • 1tsp garlic powder or equivalent.
  • A can of coconut milk, 400g.

I’m not keen on lumps in my cooked tomato, hence why I use passata. Lumpy warm tomato is fucking horrid . 🤮

There is enough fluid in the passata to reduce the amount of water you need for this soup. Add all the ingredients to the slow cooker, aside from the coconut milk. After you’ve made sure everything has melted, turn it to auto for an hour.

After an hour, add the coconut milk and leave on low for another hour. The soup will turn a beautiful incarnadine colour that you DEFINITELY don’t want to get on yer best light clothes. I realise I mentioned that already further up. Tough shit. You can’t say you weren’t warned. 😛

GLOSSY VELVET INCARNADINE.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to eat this one with yet.

Marrowfat Pea Soup 🥣

One of my lovely instagram followers asked me if I knew a pea soup recipe, so here it is. Full disclosure, I cheated and use canned Marrowfat peas this time, as I had some in the cupboard, and decided to pick those over soaking dry ones to save time.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Two cans of Marrowfat peas (mine were 300g a can).
  • 1 chopped onion.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 500ML boiling water.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1dstspn cracked black pepper.
  • 1tblspn of olive oil.
  • A dollop of plain yoghurt, cream, whatever creamy equivalent you want to swirl into your bowl when serving.

Dump both cans of peas in yer slow cooker, including the liquid they’re sitting in. Add the rest of the ingredients in any order you’d like because it doesn’t really matter.

Let it do its thing on auto for an hour, then come back and check and see what its up to. It could be doing anything I dunno, it’s your kitchen and peas, I don’t know what kind of riff-raff you’ve got in there.

The peas have sunk to the bottom. Sorry.

Stir it about a bit. Now – some folks want a smooth pea soup. If that’s what you want, this is point in which you put the contents into a blender or food processor, and whizz the fuck out of it until it’s smooth. It’s going to be hot liquid, so be careful. When you’ve done that, return it to the slow cooker and heat on low for another hour. If like me you don’t give a shit and just want to eat it, leave the soup in the slow cooker for another hour on low, at which point it will be ready to shove in yer gob with some nice bread. Add your dollop of whatever creamy stuff you chose, and swirl it through the soup. It’ll look fancy for about thirty seconds before you ruin things with your spoon.

This was shortly before I threw some of the soup down me front like a twat. I also dropped me bread in it. #WINNING

Sweet Corn Noodle Soup 🌽

Photos will be forthcoming. I have been a tad busy (read very) today so I’m writing this up from memory with photos to come later.

Dead easy to make, this is my veggiesaurus version of chicken noodle soup which as we all know is FUCKING AWESOME for when you’re recovering after a nasty dose of *plague.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 500ML boiling water.
  • 1 large can of sweet corn (mine was 326g).
  • 1tblspn olive oil.
  • 1 chopped onion.
  • 1tsp garlic powder.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1tblspn English mustard.
  • 3 cups of frozen mixed vegetables.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 1dstspn of cracked black pepper.
  • 3 nests of angel hair pasta.

Rev up the slow cooker. Add the boiling water, oil, and dry ingredients. Stir until they’re melted in. Add the mustard, followed by the onions, and then the nests of pasta. When the pasta starts to soften, add the can of sweet corn and vegetables. Stir and leave to cook its arse off on auto for about an hour.

After an hour, stir it again, and cook it for a further hour on low. Can be served with soft squishy bread, or sipped slowly from a large mug so you don’t burn yer gob during your plague.

*Not actual plague, it’s just the term I use for anything snot/cough/gunge related. Deeply unpleasant shite.

Spiced Almond and Prune Soup 🥣

This is another one I’ve never done before. I had half a bag of prunes in the fridge and decided to experiment.

Shit you’ll need:

  • 250g pitted prunes.
  • 1 cup of ground almonds.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1dstspn cracked black pepper.
  • 1tsp turmeric.
  • 1dstspn dried crushed chilli.
  • 1tsp basil.
  • 1tsp oregano.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 1tsp cayenne.
  • 1tsp paprika.
  • 1dstspn garlic powder.
  • 1tblspn olive oil.
  • 2 vegetable stock cubes.
  • 1 chopped onion.
  • 1 400ML can of coconut milk.
  • 500ML hot water.

This recipe produces quite a thick soup, which could also double as a sauce for cooking chicken or the like, to serve with rice. I kept some in tubs to store in my freezer for exactly that purpose, although it’s more likely to be quorn, or paneer in my case.

I fucking love almonds. I haven’t used them in soup before, but I felt–fuck it– now is as good a time as any. Adding almonds along with prunes is what will thicken this soup up, so you will need lots of liquid, depending on how thick you like it. It’s worth noting that it would work very well to store as condensed soup like Campbell’s, so you can add water or milk after to get it to the desired consistency.

Cut your prunes up so they look like this

THEY ARE NOT DEAD BEETLES

Then chuck em in your slow cooker. Sprinkle all the dry ingredients on top, and mash together appropriately. Pour over the coconut milk, mix some more, and then add half the hot water, setting aside the rest. Stir a bit, and set your slow cooker to auto for an hour.

After an hour, check the consistency and add the rest of the water. If you want to use this as sauce, or keep it as concentrated soup to freeze, you might want to leave it as it is. You can also add more coconut milk (or equivalent) instead of the water for a creamier texture. I love using oat milk a lot.

I added more liquid and set it to cook on low for another hour and a half. It is bloody lovely, and tastes even better with naan bread dipped in it.