Fat Cakes for Birds! 🐦

Apparently I decided 03:00AM was the time to do this. It’s getting colder and colder, and you can help feed wildlife by making fat cakes for them to chomp on.

FAAAAAAAAAAAT

Shit you’ll need:

  • Lard or coconut oil, melted.
  • 1cup of Polenta.
  • 1cup of cooked pasta, sliced up into small pieces.
  • 1cup of mixed seeds.

You can also add peanut butter, preferably smooth, currants, sultanas, uncooked oats, and cheese. Melt your fat source down, and add the rest of your ingredients. I don’t actually have anything ball shaped I can use for this right now, so I’ve put it in tubs to set, and I’ll cut it into cubes to put outside.

I know they don’t look fantastic, but the birds will luuuurve you.

Don’t use any animal fat for this, especially not turkey fat. It coats feathers in the wrong way and stops tweeters from flying, as well as spreading disease. Lard or coconut oil are absolutely your best options.

You can leave them to set in a cool place like your fridge, or in my case my kitchen windowsill because it’s cold on there.

Chewy Chocolate Chip Cookies 🍪

This is not my recipe, it’s one I’ve slightly altered for my own tastes. The original recipe is HERE.

I used egg replacer, and substituted the packed brown sugar for muscovado sugar, and the standard sugar for icing sugar. If you want a dairy free option, try using coconut oil or vegetable oil in place of the butter, either will work. Using a high cocoa content dark chocolate will be fine to keep any milk out of the process. I’ve said before that I keep egg replacer in my cupboards because it’s very economical to do so for the price.

It was so bloody hard NOT to just scoff allllll the dough.

The first six.

My kitchen smelled fucking amazing with these baking. The last photo is a pile of eleven, because obviously I had to scoff a warm cookie when they were ready, duh.

Soooooo chewy.

Kitchen Experiments: Shaving Solution 🛁

I’ll be the millionth to say it; shaving foam/gel is shite.

I’ve used oil and hair conditioner to shave with before, but doing this will clean your skin and give you a shaving medium at the same time with only two ingredients. If you wanted to be REALLY green, you could just shave using olive oil, or warmed coconut oil, but if you like a bit of foam with your shave, this will work.

Here is a picture of an olllllld safety razor because reasons.

Stuff:

  • Empty plastic bottle.
  • Your chosen brand of shower gel.
  • Baby oil.

Fill the bottle with half shower gel, and half baby oil. Shake it. It will combine and product a thin liquid that feels silky on the skin, and lathers up.

This WILL separate in the bottle after each use, so all you need to do is shake prior to each use. You can use this anywhere on your body. Whenever I make it, I use a cheap basic shower gel, and whatever brand of baby oil I can get my hands on. It doesn’t need to be fancy pants, unless you want it to be. Add essential oils if you want, just don’t add more than ten drops.

That’s it. It’ll last you a good while too.