Apple & Jalapeño Broth 🍎 🌶

I have an abundance of apples at the moment, and a jar of jalapeños. I also have a horrible plague growing inside me, so this is going to be my MAGIC FUCKING POTION.

Shit you’ll need:

  • Some apples. They’re kind of important. I used four.
  • Chopped jalapeños – admittedly mine came in a glass jar pre chopped. I used about a quarter of a jar which is roughly 106g. If you don’t have any you can use dried flaked chillis instead, or some Tabasco sauce.
  • 500ML vegetable stock.
  • 1tsp salt.
  • 1tsp thyme.
  • 1tsp rosemary.
  • 1tsp garlic.
  • A chopped onion.
  • 2tblspns olive oil.

This is designed to bite you in the arse. If you are an absolute masochist, add hotter peppers, but I won’t be doing that because I value my tastebuds.

NO PEELING THE APPLES, unless they’re cooking apples and then you should. Mine aren’t though so I didn’t. Chop them into chunks, and then dump them in your slow cooker along with everything else for a couple of hours on auto.

You sip this from a large mug or bowl. Don’t forget to wash your hands after handling the jalapeños, because if you rub your eyes or any other delicate parts, you’re going to feel like a twat when it smarts a bit.